18 Oct The trouble
You survive without knowing why.
You survive without knowing how.
But you survive.
Motivation is what remains from the huge resources we have without knowing them. Breath out, breath, apnoea, breath again.
This is how you survive, one step at a time, one day at a time.
Also when you cannot make it and, then, you succeed.
Because our instinct is this one, whether we like it or not, because “what does not kill you makes you stronger”.
Actually, what doesn’t kill you, just kills you a bit, kills a part of you, a piece of heart, a slice of confidence, a gram of hope, a ton of will. But not everything, not completely.
Something remains, always, and – who knows why – it grows again.
And one day you wake up and realize you were still thinking about it, truly: a corner of your mind is always there, dedicated, like a RAM, like a song but, in the meanwhile, something is distracting you.
Maybe a call, a break, a bill, a laugh, a bike on the street.
And then you realize you can still watch a movie, also if you will not be concentrated all along, suddenly you will think about your trouble, but then a scene or a sentence will catch your attention, at least for some time.
You will not belong to your trouble, at least for some time.
And then, there will be a night you’ll like to spend with your friends, some wine and a lipstick on and you’ll go out.
The RAM is always there, still dedicated – others cannot understand – and you remain silent, you don’t talk about it and, maybe, if you don’t mention it, you perceive it a little less.
Maybe it steps a bit aside.
And maybe there will be a day in which you will be able to look your trouble in the eyes, for long, and you’ll watch it disappear with a fading effect.
It’s plenty of variables, things can occur in many different ways, either easy or not, beautiful or not, right or not, but one thing’s for sure: you survive.